Shakira and Freshlyground. Waka waka (This time for Africa) is ubershite football-pop. FIFA rapes the airwaves and Africa again.

Ok.  So its not like I would normally go out and buy a Shakira album anyway.

But I feel Africa has been betrayed here. (click on link to youtube to hear the song in question)

We get to host the world cup in just a couple of weeks.  We have an amazing history of musical culture and depth in South Africa. Granted its not often directly related into album sales or char positions world wide.  But we are South Africa.  We are also in essence representing the whole continent here.

So they rope in Freshlyground too.  now they have a bit of a pedigree here in SA.  But as far as bands go…Im not  a huge fan of them either.  They are just “Mango Groove” for the 21st century.  What botheres me about Shakira, other than her singing and hip shaking (I cut and paste the lyrics….may be totally wrong) is why did they feel the need to bring a Columbian woman in for an African Event?  Was there nothing wrong with the local talent on its own?  Could Bra  Hugh’s “Stimela” not be African enough? Did Freshlyground really need to be a part of this?

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
This time for Africa

If African needs to be captured with a song. Fela Kuti was and is still the man for the job.

If it was really the time for Africa, why do we have  a second rate Colombian slag singing OUR song.  Did the officials just look at the video footage of the German world cup and say…”Ja man, book daai chick wat sommer sing van her period”  you know….Im on tonight, and the hips don’t lie….you must book her neh’

To be honest, its just a simple pop song.  As shit as anything produced before and probably afterwards that wants to capture “africa essence” whilst sounding more like an advert for fucking coca cola.  She sings with all the clarity of a woman stung badly by bees in the mouth whilst simulationusly trying to gargle a mouth full of FIFA semen.
aaargh gaargghh africaaaaaaaaaaah caw caw caaaaaaaaawwwww.

I dont hate you Shakira.  I hate the fuckers who booked you, or who had the power to make the choices.  Whoever is actually behind running the world cup for 2010 are as secretive as sasquatch (may as well have some other non-african links in here)  If there is actually a body of people planning and procuring for the world cup, their mere existance is questionable.  Are the Freemasons involved?  Methinks FIFA is a ball of shit with no more grounding in profit than they are football.  A plague on your collective souls.

But its the Waka Waka part that gives me the shudders in this most awful of songs.  (granted its more lisenable than that fucking deviously poor Euro Track from Shaggy….Feel the Rush with Trix and Flicks….sweet jesus that makes me shout at things)

But if I have to think of an african song that has Waka Waka in the title….and no…Im not refereing to the mostly unknown Muppets movie , “Muppets in Mozambique -Fozzie gets HIV–waka waka waka” I think more of a man who embodied African spirit.  Fela Kuti, and his song “Coffin for Head of State”

Even Fozzie wouldn't be caught dead on the Shakira track. Waka waka my arse!

Years ago, Fela Kuti’s self proclaimed republic of “Kalakuta” was raided by the Nigerian cops/army.  They did a fantastic job of making everyone’ there suffer terribly.  Horrific beatings, mutilation of genitals, seriously…this was hardcore stuff from the police.  Fela wrote a song based on taking his mothers coffin (she was thrown from a balcony during the police raid and died from the resultnig injuries” to the army general Olusegun Obasanjo at an army barracks. Obasanjo, had to take the coffin, out of respect for the dead and fear of angering ancestral spirits.  I just hope Fela’s spirit doesnt feel to violated at this Shakira track.  I for one would like to summon the Tokoloshe to keep old Sepp Blatter awake and at least force him to sleep on his bed on bricks.

Here are some of the lyrics to  “Coffin for Head of State”

So I waka waka waka
I go many places
I go business places
And I see, see, see
All the bad, bad, bad things
Dem dey do, do, do
Call corruption
And dey call “nepotism”
Inside promotions
And inside all business
I say I waka waka waka
I see, see, see

So I waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka

I waka any business anywhere in Africa
I waka any business anywhere in Africa
North and South dem get dem policies
One Christian and the other one, Muslim
Anywhere the Muslims dem dey reign
Na senior Allaha-ji na ‘im be director
Anywhere the Christians dem dey reign
Na the best friend to Bishop na ‘im be director
It is a known fact that for many thousand years
We Africans, we had our own traditions
These money making organizations
Them come put we Africans in total confusion

Perfect. Fela manages to capture the essence of what Africa is still currently going through.
FIFA is a big corporation that throws its weight about like a shitty country with nuclear weapons..
The rest of the world listens to this bully.

From the tendering process, through to the cost involved…This song is my official world cup anthem.

Here….is sadly the lyrics to the Shakira track.  They have about as much emotional and spiritual upliftment as tuberclosis of the scrotum has.

You’re a good soldier
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up
And dust yourself off
And back in the saddle

You’re on the frontline
Everyone’s watching
You know it’s serious
We’re getting closer
This isnt over

The pressure is on
You feel it
But you’ve got it all
Believe it

When you fall get up
Oh oh…
And if you fall get up
Oh oh…

Tsamina mina
Cuz this is Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
This time for Africa

Listen to your god
This is our motto
Your time to shine
Dont wait in line
Y vamos por Todo

People are raising
Their Expectations
Go on and feed them
This is your moment
No hesitations

Today’s your day
I feel it
You paved the way
Believe it

If you get down
Get up Oh oh…
When you get down
Get up eh eh…

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
This time for Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

Please forgive us Fela.  Please..

The Black President.


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