Dear Jacob
How’s it hanging?
Im guessing rarely.
I hope that’s not too forward. Calling you Jacob. It’s just, I feel like you get me.

It’s like I know you’ve got my back you know?
Anyways, I need your help.
I don’t know what to do. I heard what you said about black people trying to be like white people by having dogs as pets and how that’s not cool and I’m worried man.
You see my daughter is black, or kind of light black I guess. Or a very dark white. I don’t know, something like that, its hard for me to figure out in this post-colonial maze of classification. I guess according to the old school Apartheid classification you seem so fond of she’s kind of a browny coloured coloured. I prefer to think of her as golden brown but that’s neither here nor there. What’s important is…