Every year around this time I get the same sensation of panic. It is that feeling that suggests that you have not prepared. You aren’t ready. You have missed out.
The reason is simple. The National Arts Festival does its bookings for the upcoming year fairly early. So whilst they are asking me what the name of my new show is called, I havent’ even got the memory of what the previous one was.
I need to write a new show. I don’t want to make it sound like this is forced labour, but I have a tendency to get distracted. To wander off without actually ever getting anything done. Every single thing I have done in my life, from career to relationships has been based on acting impulsively. As much as it works some of the time, I have made way too many errors of judgement in the past. I need to focus, I need to be alone, I need to feel motivated.
I havent been overseas in a while. I came to Cape Town at the end of 2006 with my then girlfriend from the UK. Six months was the plan, but that was quickly ignored as I settled into a happy place and a happy time. I really do like living in Cape Town. It is a City that I would class as properly special to me. Im not into the mumbo-jumbo of energy and ley lines etc. But there is something here that draws people to this place.
Sadly for me, I have hit a bit of a speed bump in my aspirations. I have been on the road continually since June 2012 and I am feeling a bit burned out. I have a new flat in Cape Town that I need to refurbish and sort, but outside of that, I am feeling a distance from Cape Town for the first time. Not a distance I think will last, but its like a kick of motivation, a kick that suggests movement.
Ive packed my bags. Im going to London on the 21st Jan for a few days. A bit of sightseeing with friends and family, before going off to the States and Canada. Im not sure how or when as yet. Ticket prices seem to vary day to day, so Im looking for the best deal at the best time.
The plan is simple. Travel down (or Up) from Vancouver to Los Angeles at least. I want to watch some comedy on the way, see some nature and possibly get laid. Yeah why not.
Im not sure how im doing it just yet. Whether I buy a train pass, or rent a car or whatnot…
Just to say that I plan to use my time wisely. From meeting new people, to spending a lot of time on my own. Yeah I will get lonely. But Im not worried about being alone. This is my chance to write. This is my chance to find a new story. A new chapter.
And make everything relevant and fun again.