I messed with Sasquatch. The stunts you saw were real.

I shot a commercial recently for Jack Links Beef Jerky out in the states.

I got to work with some esteemed folks. Not excluding the most petrifying Sasquatch ever.

Im not kidding however, those were real stunts. I was shot across a car park with some fancy contraption.

Awesome fun.

This folks. This is why I make the big money. It’s all in the nipples.

I recently was part of an advert campaign for Campina Dairy in the Netherlands along with
Epke Zonderland. The Dutch 2012 Olympic Gold medalist for the High Bar.

Yes I have what appears to be a nipple stand. But again. This is why I make the big money.

(its because of my big nipples surely)

It may look easy, but I was on that bar for hours. Doing what must have been 60 odd shots or so for that tiny bit of film

Enjoy it (more than I did)

Where are the Satanists in this land? I would like to interview them.

Much has been made during the time I have lived in South Africa, about the fear of Satanism in society. Certainly more so than anything I ever heard of when living in the UK.

Many have claimed to have been involved in Satanic covens and churches in the country.
With this in mind, I am looking to interview people for Cape Talk and 702 who would admit to their involvement in the church of Satan.

If you, or someone else you know would be interested in being involved. Would you please get hold of me.

Smurfette is just a prison bitch “Wyfie” in the numbers gang system.


Did you get the Pollock family come to your school when you were a kid to preach about Jesus to you?.. Yes the same ones, who, whilst playing cricket like demons, came to our schools when we were kids to talk to us about demons.

What demons…..The Cartoon Demons of the 80’s

I recall having Peter Pollock, father of Shaun, the “ginger ninja” and the selector of the South African cricket team, actually interrupt our childhood education with this twaddle.  Masters of the Universe, Ninja Turtles that kind of thing.  What a wally.

You see the smurf’s were demons….What kind of demons you may ask.  Well it was the 80’s, and there wasn’t quite the range of cartoons out there for kids at the time in South Africa… So it was mostly gentle kindly things like the Smurfs they picked on.  What was wrong with the smurf’s you may well…

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Wearing the (hell)pants #STOPTHENONSENSE #GOODDEED

Its time to stop the nonsense.

When I was a kid, life was pretty simple when it came to food.

For lunch you got a polony sandwich, and if you were particularly well behaved a chicken and mushroom pie. Mostly around your birthday.

My friends kids today speak of having a deconstructed mac and cheese for lunch, washed down with organic juice from pears picked at moonlight on a farm that employees fair trade policies.

When I was a lighty, a tablespoon of sugar was considered luxury.  Today’s kids know no limit to their food extravagance.  This nonsense must stop.

I have this fear that our kids will grow up spoiled for choice and quality.

I think I went out to dinner with my family when I was a kid in the 80’s, perhaps four times a year.  Im guessing four times because there were four of us, and that meant four birthdays. Food was a simple affair. It involved a branded steak house and a burger with cheese and possible mushroom sauce if you were fancy.

Today I hear of toddlers refusing to eat anything other than particular restaurant sushi. I say particular because they will turn their little spoiled snouts up at the budget stuff.  I am not saying that the rise of quality food is a bad thing. But the race to keep little Johnny happy with his portions is out of control.  It is time to stop the nonsense.

It is time we institute some level of reality. Whilst we eat like kings, its time the kids knew the truth.

We already have Movember. Let us get the kids on an initiative. Can we not insist on a month where children are forced to eat emulsified meat products (ok I get it that there are vegetarians out there too) but for the month of May. I say we get the kids to eat Polony again. Reminiscent of the days when polony knew not social barriers. When polony was a tasty treat, not a reason for a food revolt at home.

Do it parents. The children need you to step forward.
Say no to the Salmon Rose and yes to the Polony Rose.

I know you can do it.
Stop the nonsense.

Is this the best treffer in the world ever? Egmond – Kom red my…. Never forget. Never ever forget.

Every so often a little gem falls from the stars.

That little gem needs to land on this earth, to be subjected to massive pressures and then, only after millions of years, a diamond will form.

This video still has several hundred thousand years to go. It may not be a diamond.

But yassis. It is most certainly a gem.

Ladies and gentlemen..

I present.


This is the greatest action film ever made: “Who killed Captain Alex” (Full film)

The film industry in Cape Town is growing at an alarming rate.

World class crew and talent right here in the Cape. There is budget too with some of the productions running into hundreds of millions of rands.

What are they making at the end of the day? Well nothing to really write home about.

But this…This took my breath away.
The move is called “Who killed Captain Alex”
It’s a Ugandan masterpiece of film. I want to see it in high definition glory (with surround sound of course)
A bit of creative licence and some affordable equipment along with some special effects on your laptop and BOOM.

You have Uganda’s first action film. Apparently completed on a budget of $200

Well done sir.

Now get the popcorn out, a box of tissues and turn your phone to silent.  You can thank me later.
This makes the work of Bud Spencer look like the work of a savant.


captain alex
I don’t want to give away too much of it…  But I got this of IMDB.

A mafia leader’s brother is captured in a shootout, prompting a revenge attack on the army camp. But when troop leader Captain Alex is killed during a raid, a violent war escalates between the two sides.

Best Restaurants in Cape Town?

Cape Town is a food city.
Whilst everyone has a differing opinion on the Cape about something or another. Pretty much everyone agrees that the quality of food in this city is outstanding.


I eat out a lot. I guess you could say almost vulgarly. But there is always a new place to try, a new style of food being offered or a brand new establishment popping up.

I am going to compile a list of my favourite restaurants over time.

Perhaps you could add a few of your suggestions down here.
I rarely get enthusiastic about a place because there is a bit of vibe about it. Too many of the successful restaurants here are only popular because a select crowd chooses to validate them. What interests me most is the smaller less well known establishments that just do food right.

I like cold draught beer, hearty portions and quality service.

Hit me up with your suggestions…
(The featured image is of a Full House Masala Gatsby…..it is by no means fine dining.)

Polony tasting, comedy & bizarre news?

I recently had the pleasure (if one can call eating polony pleasurable) with the esteemed Gareth’s (plural)

I was a guest on episode #43 with Gareth Allison and Gareth Woods where we discussed the (de)merits of polony and other such emulsified meat treats.

You can find them on twitter on @twogsinapod
The most popular comedy podcast hosted by two guys with the same name. (not verified)

You can listen to it here.