Category: Fail fail fail

Too many dodgy things happen to me. I need to have a more detailed list of the stupid and pointless things society throws in my moody lap.

Call me a misogynst but this kind of pole dancing works for me.

Traditional dances.
They mean so much to the local culture.

Just mention the “morris dancers” near my dad and he starts to blush. what a bunch of mullets they are.

but this is proper pole dancing.

and this shameful mess is what the English refer to as their cultural roots…it makes me want to just weep

And this folks. Is why he filled out the Sun City Superbowl.

You know an artist takes his craft seriously. So seriously that he is prepared to film it OVERSEAS.
That is crazy lengths that the most talented man in the 80’s would go to, just to guarantee a hit for his fans.

This kind of devotion is now gone.
Some say it was voted out at the end of apartheid. Some say it lingers deeper. Almost always there. Hardly seen. But ever present.
Ladies and Gentlemen.

Bles Bridges

The great chicken holocaust with a secret blend of herbs, spices & apartheid collusion.

I like to eat my KFC naked whilst watching #TopBilling.

I run my greasy fingers through my sub-par chest hair or thighs. The hair holds on to the small crystals of fried bread crumb. Leaving me lubed, yet crumbless.

Later if the dogs have behaved themselves, I let them lick the remnants off as a once in a lifetime treat. God bless KFC.

I mean how many other fast food establishments were prepared to hang around South Africa during apartheid. Exactly. KFC are here for the long
haul. I mean why let some human rights stand in the way of the great chicken holocaust.

I have tried to make this heavenly treat at home. But dammit the secret blend of herbs and spices is a total secret.

Could it be any of the following?

Ooh ooh. I’m actually rushing thinking of salt, fat, MSG and bird suffering. Can chicken get YOU erect too? Just me? Damn.

20120530-112624.jpg

why do clowns, magicians and hypnotists give me the willies?

I have a pathalogical fear of childrens entertainers, clowns, hypnotists, and other such ilk. I have tried over the years to get over this fear that I have..Yet more and more I find myself coming across images and video’s such as this.

Im not saying that people who do this supposed entertainment are bad people. I JUST THINK they are.
Where this thought comes from? Well I do not know. I think it may be related to personal experiences and seeing this kind of stuff on the net..

Why would any adult want to be an children’s entertainer? I would need a police escort to trust any man who wished to work with kids. I have never seen or met this man. But it just seems creepy. Very very creepy to me.

Here is a postcard of my fear doubled into one big ball of panic. A clown/magician hybrid. pants are now utterly soiled.

Do they perhaps work for kids for other reasons? is it perhaps that their sense of taste hasn’t developed as yet? Perhaps kids will watch shit performances quite happily.

Scared yet?
Maybe this will help…..images of clowns….they help me lose weight as I foul my pants repeatedly with each image..







Magicians creep me out too..

As do Hypnotists. Possibly more than them all combined..

Entertainers who brand their cars. oooh how they do make me laugh……

I think one of the most embarrasing things on this planet, must be having to drive around town with your name on your car. Showing the world what it is you do. I have always been weary of anything used to “sell yourself”

Granted it could be a fairly affordable way of making sure the people out there, “know who you are” but what are they really saying about you. I wonder just how many people would book an act based on having seen them in the traffic. Considering how I have driven in the past. I would probably do more to damage a brand than I would to attract business.

Still…Maybe I am being the arse here. But when I see a self-branded vehicle…I giggle like im ten years old and somejust farted whilst saying the word penis.

Here are some local example I have seen and or photographed. IF you find any more…please do send them to me.


How to wear a Beret and look, special, intelligent, army-like & not at all like a ridiculous twat.

photo by Gary van der Merwe
Suave, sophisticated. Ready for a night on the town. A leisure beret that still means business (photo by Gary van der Merwe)
I think Julius Malema gets given a lot of unnecessary grief. I mean come on. Any man who can wear a beret by choice. AND INSIST ON WEARING AS HE DOES, it quite obviously a gentle man. A silly man, a man making a bit of a joke and having fun with it.

Hey folks. It is just fashion. And by fashion, I do not mean fascist. There is a different beret he wears for that.
Here is a photo description on how to wear a beret. It is a military garment most of the time. AND THEY HAVE RULES.

I am not sure what they mean by poof here.

Here are some examples of Julius Malema’s attempt at wearing a beret. I think he looks quite suave.

Suave, sophisticated. Ready for a night on the town. A leisure beret that still means business

Julius knows better than most that the space required between beret and eyesocket is EXACTLY the width of his finger description. EXACTLY

Which way to Nando's?

Julius has been known to wear a cap on various occasions. I think the beret works for him. It is more fitting his political position. The other caps are too leisure focussed.


Julius is not the first to wear a beret. In fact many have chosen to wear one in the past. Even thought most of society thinks that they look like shit and make you look like an idiot. No. True fashionista’s have no respect for the will of the masses. That folks, is why they are winners and we ARE JUST READERS.

Some follow. Some lead.


This is a picture of a monkey in a beret. I want to shoot them both in the face for mocking the beret.
They should be treated the way they are performing. BADLY…

The one man who nobody can doubt about getting it right..
Prince.

Raspberry Beret. Enough said.

I have no idea what language this man is speaking. But I know he is speaking the truth.
Prove me wrong.

I hope this has been as informative as it has been entertaining. Viva la revolution.

How long before #bucknorris takes over #entertheninja on youtube for number of hits? Tough break Waddy!

In the past year or two. It was Die Antwoord who seemed to have racked up the largest number of hits on youtube by South Africans.

Seems all of Waddy’s hard work is about to be eclipsed by a red hartebeest.

Watch as Evan van der Spuy of Team Jeep South Africa got taken out by a RED HARTEBEES at the Time Freight Express MTB race at Albert Falls Dam. Recorded on a little #gopro camera…It is really amazing foootage to watch.

I love the comment underneath it…

The Buck: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.



Bigboss236

with 6 500 000 plus views already…I think that “Die Antwoord” are going to see their good work destroyed shortly.

If you missed their video. Here it is..