“Rants with Pants” podcast is up on iTunes and Podomatic.

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What a skiddle. Trying to get wordpress to link up to a podcast. Then trying to find a host that allows you to post multiple episodes without paying more than a gym contract a month.  So here we are.  Finally able to post on iTunes.I have recorded many podcasts over the years.  Most of which have never been released online.  I will be releasing a mix of vintage podcasts and newer episodes.  At the moment it might be a bit haphazard.  But give it a few weeks and I think i will find my stride.I need to ask a favour though. Would you please take a listen, subscribe, share and write a little review for me?  Thank you. That will really help get this going.

Rants with Pants Podcast

Gentlemen. Being fingered in the arse could save you!


I DO NOT HAVE CANCER.  Please, this isn’t a panic. Nor is it about me.

This is not what this post is about. It is however about stopping for a moment to consider the implications that not taking the right care of your body could mean. By care, I mean considered and informed understanding of what we are going through physically.I will be 43 years old in July. I am most certainly a candidate for checking up on my manly bits to see if everything is in order. It is simple enough to do and it saves lives.  I know how difficult the world would be without me. So I got it checked out.

Now whatever is the core reasoning behind men not talking about their health issues is a strange one. I don’t there are many men who would have an iota of an issue talking about the massive dump they took that morning. But the mere hint or suggestion that someone might have a finger up their asshole and suddenly everyone is a prude from the 1800’s.

I will be honest with you. The idea of being probed did leave me a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t so much about the asshole getting a good old fingering. It was as much an issue of the pure embarrassment of having some dude or lady-dude who, let’s be honest, this isn’t an ideal set-up, give you a bit of a one-two up your jacksie’ as you lay vulnerable on some doctors bed.

An ex-girlfriend took a great level of pleasure in knowing that I was due to have a check-up for my prostate. It wasn’t that she found it amusing. I think she just wanted to see me violated and uncomfortable. She wasn’t the most sympathetic type. But perhaps it was some nod to the fact that women see no issue with going to the gynae for regular tests and checks.

I approached my GP with a solemn and mature outlook and booked an appointment. I told him that my dad, my granddad etc. had both had prostate cancer in their 60’s. Here I am in my early 40’s and certainly a candidate for this check. I was ready to offer my arse up in submission.

I was told in no uncertain terms, that there are newer tests for that kind of stuff these days. Accurate tests. Simple tests., Even though a finger up your arse is about as simple as it gets.

Get it done son.

We have lost far too many good men from the simple issue of unnecessary shame and being a “boytjie”.

Go get off your arse and get a finger up it. Or go get the newer tests. Or get your partner to ram a digit up there someday. Who knows, it might save your life. Or give you a little death.

So what can you do? Other than get yourself checked out.  You can like, share and let more men learn that every GP out there is your  “Guynae.   Follow Guynae on Facebook and Twitter  for more info.

 

Rants with Pants Episode 3

I went for a little wander down to the shops and pretty much just spoke to myself like a madman.

Anyway. Here is episode three. Essentially me just moaning about Uber eats and home security.

I tried posting this from my phone and tablet earlier. Didn’t work.  In the process of getting home, I ended up in an argument with. Hang on. That’s tomorrow’s episode.

Lunch time #Epicburger #meatfreemovember @frysfamily #Frysfamily

This has been a bleak year for many people. It certainly has been one of change for me. I have to say however that my changes have mostly been from a positive space. Ive been giving my future prospects some attention recently and there has been some fantastic response there. 2016 couldn’t be looking any rosier.

Ive’ only got a minute here to spare today. Here is what I am throwing together for my #MeatfreeMovember #FrysFamily #Epicburger.

That’s a lot of hashtage. But this was lovely.

AND QUICK.

I made two types. Firstly I fried up the Meat Free Traditional burgers for about 8 mins. Threw in a a bit of red onion. I had some tasty cheese rolls with some fancy chutney on them. I had a bag of nice mixed herbs and made a base.  On one of the burgers, I have added beetroot chutney that is delicious. On the other one a really tasty tomato pickle. Spicy but just delicious.I thought I would throw a fried egg on top of one as well.

Downsides? The egg burst it’s yolk on my nice shirt

Burger-meal

A few lifestyle changes may be required.

If my body was a car, I would probably fail the roadworthy.

I think the need to make changes is something that you often are just a part of. Make changes or feel ill all the time.  I say this like I have some sort of idea of what being fit really is. Frankly if I haven’t seen it on youtube, it probably hasn’t happened. All I do know is that my current ways are not working out so great.

Been about 50 days now. Been going to gym regularly, been working to fix my range of motion on my shoulder and things are looking good. Other than a few glasses of wine over the month, I have managed to remain alcohol free for at least 40 days now.

I spoke about a change of diet on Cape Talk 702 last week about #MeatFreeMonday #MeatFreeMovember and what kind of changes you guys are facing.  Folks have been sending me a whole range of recipes and suggestions.  I think my body has been asking for it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5gV7fxr3rI

 

Giving the #MeatFreeMovember tacos with quacamole a try.

I have been working hard all day. I wasn’t really in the mood to spend too much time in the Kitchen. But I managed to throw this together in about 35mins.

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It’s pretty simple.

Take one box of the Fry’s Meat Free Mince.

Add a chopped onion, some green pepper, some garlic,  half a teaspoon of paprika and about a quarter or cumin, and gently fry that all up. Add the Fry’s Meat Free Mince and cook away. After it was all browned, I added the tomato paste.  I took a photo of the ingredients that I used.

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The quacamole was really simple.

Took 2 large avocados. (nice and ripe) and added coriander and chilli and two tomatoes  with one chopped onion and salt and pepper with some lime juice from half a lime. Mashed them up all up with a fork and was sorted. (Sounding like Jamie Oliver here).

The salsa was just 250g of tomato finely chopped with more onion and more chilli. I used the rest of the lime juice here along with the remaining coriander.

The taco shells just took a few minutes under the grill to warm up and it was ready. Spooned the meat free filling into the warm taco shells and covered with guacamole and salsa.  Delicious. I think this was my favourite meal so far.

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Day two of a #MeatfreeMovember with a vegan twister wrap.

Snacks. Nothing too heavy.
I am the kind of guy who does impulse buy. Sneaky eating is no joke.

I have been very aware of my state of temptation. But I have done well.
I no longer linger in the queue by the cashier. Nope. I move on by. No more sweets.

I have been giving my cardio training more attention than it has ever received before. I am looking to limit my carb intake in due course, but I have allowed myself a tortilla wrap and some hummus on it too. I used the Frys Family meat-free pops for this and made a rather tasty twister-esque snack that was delicious.  To jazz it up, I just added some some lettuce, some carrot and some red pepper and tomato from the fridge.

#MeatfreeMovember is the challenge. Im getting nutrients without cruelty. Unless you consider the carnage a soya bean goes through.

After this, its off to the gym anyway.

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Are you a Comedian? Then tell us a joke.

Ah comedy. She has always been my first love.

Funny isn’t about jokes in my world. Sure, they play a part in it but to me, real humour exists in stories, life and truth. When you tell someone you are in the comedy business it can elicit a bunch of responses from people. To be honest, most of them are positive.

The one thing I have learned to deal with over the years is essential in the journey of a comedian… If you cannot ‘shake it off’ then I fear you are in the wrong industry.

I have never been a doctor, or a plumber, or a policeman. I wonder what happens when they meet a stranger. Does the stranger say to the doctor, “Are you a doctor? Prove it, fix some disease or something”. Do folks ask a plumber they’ve just met, “So boet, you tuning me that you are a plumber? Nah, you can’t be. Go and fix my toilet, then I will believe it”. It just doesn’t make sense that folks think some jobs need to be justified. I would never walk up to a cop and say, “Officer? Really? Prove it. Go and arrest that man over there”.

People are always using my job as a method to test me – to prove it. “Are you a comedian? Prove it, make me laugh!”

Trying to sum your career up with a few chosen words… Not easy. Not fun. Not fair. I normally ask them if they would like to hear a few words from my set, which of course, they say yes to.

It’s at that point I go, “I have been Martin Evans, goodnight” and walk away briskly.

It may not be funny but I wasn’t kidding. It’s from my set. It’s about all I can do to ‘shake it off’.

That would be the worst thing ever. But it gets worse. Normally the same folks who ask you to prove that you are comedian will also be the first people to volunteer to tell you a joke. Not a good joke. Not a funny joke. Not an original joke either.

Normally it will be something you last heard twenty years ago in the school grounds when some racist, ignorant kid was spouting off some rubbish they heard from their uncle… “Ja boet, you can use that in your set. You owe me now, hey!”

Stop it. Stop the nonsense.
Please, I beg you all

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I bought one of those fold up bikes. Why? Because people cannot be trusted.

Folks are always going on about “going green” and saving the environment.

I have always suggested that we need to “stop the nonsense” when it comes to polluting our lovely planet.

I live in Cape Town. Some folks are quite negative about his place. I call it jealousy. You can call it what you want. But we have a small space in the city bowl and there isn’t a great deal of room for cars and parking.

So to combat this, I ride a bicycle.  This city is made for it. We have the Cape Town Cycle race here as well.  Something like 40 000 people take part in a ride that is over 113kms in length. So you can understand that people take riding bikes here quite seriously. 

I bought one of those folding bikes. You know the kind. It is the kind of bike that whilst being totally practical it is also totally ridiculed.  Everyone in SA rides for pleasure, not to commute. So people go off and spend like nine gazillion Rand on road bikes and mountain bikes that cost more than the GDP of Zimbabwe.  Me? I have my trusty folding steed.  But why a folding bike?  

There are many reasons. One of which is simple. I can fold it up and take it indoors with me.  This is South Africa, I could write a whole blog post on how many bikes I have had stolen over the years. I keep this thing attached to me at all times.  Why?  People cannot be trusted.  I just fold it up and push it along with me.  Some people have thought that I was unpacking and folding up a wheelchair, but no. It is just a fancy bike.  Also, being the fat and lazy man that I am, I can just as easily stick in the back seat or the boot of a friends car. I am no fool. If I can grab an easy ride in a car, just you watch me.  Unpacking the bike and folding has left some folks, particularly the homeless thinking I have just performed a magic trick. It is quite good fun I must admit.

Living where I am, it is actually quicker to cycle to the Cape Town Comedy Club, than it is for me to walk. So I ride.  I am ready for the bumps in the road, I am ready for the traffic and drivers that you just know will treat you like you are made of the of invisible ghost dust.  I am no fool. It is dangerous out there. I take my safety seriously. I have the helmet, the reflective gear, the various bike lights, and I make sure I use the cycle paths are all over this fine city. Sadly, nobody explained to all the trucks and drivers out there that there is a point to the cycle paths. That point of course being, THAT THEY ARE FOR BICYCLES.  So in an attempt to use them, you are forced to ride along your special little track, then veer into the main road and avoid being made into a flat white, much like the tasty hot beverages.   Someone in the city council needs to “Stop the nonsense”.  Cycle paths have if anything, made riding a bike more dangerous.

But by far the hardest part of riding a folding bike in Cape Town, its not the hills and the steep climbs and arriving sweaty.  It is not the fear of a truck not seeing you, no.  The hardest part of it all is being spotted by your friends and the hollering out of their office windows or cars or whatever as you ride down the road.  Looking like a dodgy Pacific Blue Bike Cop.

There is no coming back from that.

Please. Someone. Anyone. Just stop the nonsense. Now cycling may be difficult in Cape Town. But if you live in Johannesburg and you cycle you will need more than a bike. You will need medical aid and possibly a session at the Psychiatrist.

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You know what gets on my nerves? #Stopthenonsense

You know what gets on my nerves?

Talent shows.  Not the kind of talent shows where we find the next dog that can bark the word “strawberries” in a French accent, whilst wearing a tutu.  No. I mean those pompous “lets find the next pop star” kind of shows.

You know the type. The formula is pretty simple. Take three or four judges of various dubious talents themselves and stick them on a panel, to pick away at the dreams of a demented farmer from Limpopo who queued overnight in Polokwane, or some Hairdresser with dreams over and above cutting fringes for the next thirty years.

Yes, there have been instances where talented individuals have come forward and shown the world that they are amazing and deserve our money and focus. But really. When did the public become involved with breaking the next new artist. When did becoming the “next big thing” be all about queuing up for hours to get a few minutes to show the judges that you are the boss?

I remember when the first of these shows came out. Suddenly there was two. Then three, then thirty. Syndicated world wide, with hours and hours and hours of schmaltz to deal with. But what gets me….is how they make the money on these shows.

Right. Here is contestant A from “Where-ever-ville”  If she doesn’t get through to the second round. Her mother may have a heart attack. FOLKS.. It is up to you now to vote for them via SMS.  Oh at a cheeky couple of rand each.  So not only do we tell the management who we like the most. We pay the money that gets the artist through to the next round, AND at the same time, making the producers of these shows who are already rich, so much richer that it actually starts to break society.

Oh I just don’t get it.  We need to #StopTheNonsensenonsense

The cycle lanes in Cape Town are a joke.

Seriously though. The cycle lanes just don’t work in Cape Town. Since there is no parking in the first place, all the cars and delivery vehicles just double park on the lines, forcing the cyclists to have to ride into middle of the road anyway….If anything, the cycle paths have made matters almost worse.

On Adderley St the bike lanes are often filled with flower sellers.

I just think a good idea needs more work.

Smurfette is just a prison bitch “Wyfie” in the numbers gang system.

RANTS WITH PANTS

Did you get the Pollock family come to your school when you were a kid to preach about Jesus to you?.. Yes the same ones, who, whilst playing cricket like demons, came to our schools when we were kids to talk to us about demons.

What demons…..The Cartoon Demons of the 80’s

I recall having Peter Pollock, father of Shaun, the “ginger ninja” and the selector of the South African cricket team, actually interrupt our childhood education with this twaddle.  Masters of the Universe, Ninja Turtles that kind of thing.  What a wally.

You see the smurf’s were demons….What kind of demons you may ask.  Well it was the 80’s, and there wasn’t quite the range of cartoons out there for kids at the time in South Africa… So it was mostly gentle kindly things like the Smurfs they picked on.  What was wrong with the smurf’s you may well…

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Polony tasting, comedy & bizarre news?

I recently had the pleasure (if one can call eating polony pleasurable) with the esteemed Gareth’s (plural)

I was a guest on episode #43 with Gareth Allison and Gareth Woods where we discussed the (de)merits of polony and other such emulsified meat treats.

You can find them on twitter on @twogsinapod
The most popular comedy podcast hosted by two guys with the same name. (not verified)

You can listen to it here.

http://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/f/7/e/f7e83b833679349b/twogsinapod_episode43.mp3?c_id=8732020&expiration=1429886749&hwt=9ba1285bd1ef54b02ca955ea12de2e7f

Buying cars online. Good idea or not?

Ok. Truth time.

http://www.gumtree.co.za have asked me to write a few words on buying online.

Lets start with the truth. Since that is the biggest issue when buying online. Often blind.
I have bought dozens of vehicles over the years.  Using http://www.gumtree.co.za in South Africa has seen me purchase many of my cars and motorbikes over the years.   The platform just works for me.

Lets imagine there was an actual car lot out there. A car lot that had every obscure and out of production vehicle there was. That we could walk around and see all these cars in real time. Folks you are dreaming. It just doesn’t exist out there.

For me to find the cars and bikes that I have (im including bicycles here too) I would have had to drive around for ages into places that I didnt know existed in order to track down some of these vehicles. I found what I wanted with a few clicks. Sometimes I have had friends send me links via text messages or emails saying “Martin, you just have to check this out”

I bought my last three cars via http://www.gumtree.co.za

My VW Kombi Autovilla.  Bough blind in PE.

My Volvo 122S Amazon.  Also bought blind in PE

and my Mercedes c230 Coupe.  Bought blind up in Johannesburg.

I was able to get enough info out of the buyers adverts to warrant further investigation. Im no fool. I didn’t transfer funds or go to some dodgy place to view these cars. I dealt with people online and felt I had sufficient trust with them to meet up and see th cars. In every case it was well worth the gamble as I got exactly the cars I was looking for without any further need to search. In fact I cannot think how I would have found them otherwise.

Be sensible when buying online. But by all means do it.
Like this advert I saw here http://goo.gl/M8l2LP
I just want to jump out and buy this. Ok. So  im short of cash and parking. But hey. A man can dream!

I miss my motorhome.

Every so often I get itchy feet.
Not all “sell everything I have and run away” kind of travel. But you know, more the “Lets go have a look around the country” kind of vibes.

In 2013 I took a year off of sorts (well from South Africa at least) and made my way around the United States on a six week road trip.  Now many folks have done just that before. But for me, what made this all special was the fact that I did it alone, and in a series of Motorhomes…Or rather “RV’s” as they are called out there.

Without getting all depressed about the state of South Africa. I do not recommend that folks do an identical trip here, like I did there.  Namely for reasons of safety.  Every day I would just fire up that massive seven litre v10 engine and just head west.  No idea where I was heading..no idea what to expect and no agenda.

I owned a van several years ago that I bought via www.gumtree.co.za much like the rest of my cars that I have bought and sold over the years. I think I must have owned over 22 motorised vehicles at this stage in my life. I like the buying and selling of cars. Often I have picked up vehicles that were going for a song and used them, abused them and many times sold them on for a profit.


I did just that in 2010.  I bought without a car on gumtree without even having seen her. It was probably my dream car as a kid. I would have been happy just to have gone for a ride in one as a kid. No. Im not talking about a state of the art german supercar. My dream car was a 1980 VW Kombi Autovilla.  An old classic bay window VW Kombi on the transporter chassis with a full caravan body added to it. All factory fitted too. 

I had been in a bad motorcycle accident in January, and I had pretty much decided that that form of transport was something I was going to give up on.  With a few rand in my pocket, I had been scanning Gumtree for a while to see what I could get in the Western Cape with regards to Kombi’s.  I saw one or two but nothing stole my heart. Till I found this bad boy.  Unfortunately it was in Port Elizabeth.  Even though it was a flight away. I still knew this was the car for me. I booked a flight, went to PE and drove directly back to Cape Town. On route the exhaust fell off, the gear box siezed up and I still managed to limp back into CT. When I arrived, I felt like I had introduced a new child to the world. I am not the kind of guys who takes pride in machines. But this was a special time and a special car.

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I had many adventures in that car. It was a mix of the best thing I have ever owned and also the worst.  Mechanically it was rubbish and i spent a lot of time working on her to get her ship shape and ready for the next adventure.  I eventually used her in an episode of “Come Dine with me South Africa” where folks were led to believe that it was my actual home. So after countless music festivals, the occasions writing expedition and many great trips, I eventually decided to part with her.  She was just sitting in my driveway and I knew she needed a garage. She was rusting up and I couldn’t give her the attention she needed.

I sold her on after that. With regret I might add. It was the only car I have sold, that as it rolled away from my drive-way, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.  I was genuinely sad.

I have bought lots of cars via www.gumtree.co.za (most recently was a classic old 1966 Volvo 122s) and I am always scanning the ads for that next impulse purchase.  You know the car is right for you when dozens of your friends are all “ANOTHER CAR EVANS????”

I found this a few days ago when surfing the site… http://goo.gl/M8l2LP
What I saw here sparked that flame that makes me want to buy again.

But here is my problem. I am about to move into a new awesome city loft with my girlfriend in Cape Town. A city that is notoriously short on parking spaces.  So without a doubt, I am probably barking up the wrong tree if I think another car is a good idea.  In fact, I have been thinking about selling my main car as well. In a city with so many links to quality transport, cheap cabs and such good wine and restaurants. Why would i even tan to drive?

I called up the owner of the van to ask him a few questions about it.  To be honest the info on the advert was rather shy of details. That often leaves me thinking that perhaps the seller doesn’t know a great deal about their car.  How wrong I was.

The gentleman I called was Henri Booysen.  I guessed from the sound of his voice that Henri wasn’t exactly a 20 year old who owned this for trips to Oppikoppi.  He was a wise old man and when I asked him about the van, he amazed me with detail. 

Turns out that the van is pretty much built from the ground up by Henri. He did the coachwork, he built the chassis onto a tipper truck load body so he could level it off when parked on inclines, he had installed the engine, the cab, the carpentry for the interior….all of it….all done by his own hands.

Personally I like to dabble with tools.  By dabble, I mean buy some, and by the process of owning them feel a bit more manly. Can I use them?  no.  no i cannot. Im pretty useless.

When I saw this van, and the photos of all the travel stickers on the windshield, I could only but imagine all the adventures that Henri and his wife have been on in this awesome car.

For some of us, our dream cars are million rand performance vehicles suited to a track.For me. Its a car just like this. Something that you can make memories for life in.I just wish I had the extra money and parking to keep this. Maybe you should instead.  Why worry about load shedding and what not, when you are completely self sufficient on wheels.

That folks…..That is my dream car.
I cannot buy this car right now. Maybe you can. Why don’t you give Henri a shout and make a deal with him instead.
http://goo.gl/M8l2LP

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Driving around Johannesburg certainly requires the right wheels.

I have owned too many cars.

At my last count, I have owned over twenty six cars or motorbikes.

So you may be asking. Why have I gone through so many cars. Don’t get me wrong, nearly all of those vehicles have been sold on. I don’t break cars. I just use them, and when they no longer fit my needs, I sell them again.

Some say its a passion. Some say its a sickness..

(Ok they have seen a few of the lemons I have owned over the years.)

I had an accident in August in my daily drive bakkie. Something I was dreading happening for a while. I just never had any confidence in the brakes of it. Not the feeling of cramped interior.

So when the air-bags didn’t go off. I was well cheesed off. That was the final straw.

But that folks, is another blog post all on its own.

I bought my current car for my daily use. I based it on safety, and power. What I hadn’t taken into consideration was how low the nose on it was. I scrape it on kerbs, on speed bumps…you name it.

Whilst I love my car. I travel enough across South Africa by plane, that I am often at the hands of the car rental people. This is South Africa. Not the states. Here and upgrade at the rental agency can mean you get an extra pre-programmed radio station done in advance. What I am saying is that the rental cars I have driven have often been a let down of a monumental amount.

From going from a 200bhp monster here at home to a small piece of tin with 1.1 litres of grunt can often leave me looking like a fool on the highway, grinding gears within an inch of their life to get me to what I feel are safe motorway speeds.

I am going to be in Johannesburg for a full week of gigs from Monday. I am looking forward to trying out a new car whilst I am up there. The kind of car that fits into my budget but ticks all the boxes for what I need.

So what do I need in a car these days. Firstly a bit of space. I need a car that can go over a kerb and over a badly potholed road without ripping the nose off. I need something that has enough power to get me going on the motorway. And above all. I need something that doesnt make me feel like a victim sitting in some overrated bit of tin. I need four doors. Have you seen some of the comedians out there. These are not small men (and that is not considering the ego space required too). I need a boot that is more than large enough to carry all my luggage for my trips….safely and securely stored. Knowing what I need to carry has often left me in a bit of a spot with some of the rentals I have used before. From boots just too small to take my suitcase, forcing me to leave valuables in sight, or knowing in advance that there will be no space at all for my folding bike means me having to leave it back here in Cape Town. How can I keep up my Cape Town hipster credentials if I am forced to leave my bike at home. Exactly!

I am going to be testing out the new Toyota Etios Cross during my time up in North. Those of you that know the roads in Gauteng know exactly what I am talking about. From gated communities with speed bumps every fifty meters, to rutted and rotten stretches of road. I am looking forward to this trip.

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For me there are a few essentials. In Johannesburg, since I find myself driving in areas that I am often not familiar with, I sort of demand air-con. A decent sound system and the safety of decent brakes and airbags. I cannot wait to get behind the wheel of the @toyotaSA #EtiosCross

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I will be putting out a full review of the Etios Cross from a weeks driving and rushing from gig to gig. You too can book yourself a test drive with them here

Check out some links on YouTube here to the #EtiosCross

For more details on the info and specs. Check out their website

Chat soon.

Martin

Review: The Comics Choice Awards. English may be dead. Long live the Vernac.

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On Saturday I had the privilege of flying up to Johannesburg to attend the Comics Choice Awards at the Teatro Theatre at Montecasino.

It was quite the grand affair to be honest. Many of the comics putting on their best suits and what-nots and making quite the effort.  I wasn’t going to make it at first. Not for any reasons other than cost. Johannesburg is a fair old distance away and I was feeling quite happy being back in Cape Town. But I made a few calls and sorted myself out and I am glad I did.

Mango Airlines threw me a bone after the cock-up in November last year, that saw me missing the Synergy Festival after a ridiculous 12 hour flight delay.  So with a free return flight in my hand, I made my way up there.  My comedy buddy Melt Sieberhagen kindly offered to put me up for the night and fetch me from the airport.  We arrived after being in some horrendous Johannesburg traffic that I only assumed was due to some open-spot comic arriving on a horse drawn carriage or something. Comics be treating this like a matric dance yo.  I certainly don’t mean all.  Some folks looked like shit.  I am not fashionisat..but yassis. Make a plan.

The good people at @adidasOriginals made sure that I looked like a king with some fancy new threads. Now i’m not someone who knows how to dress to well without help (I mean I know how to put jeans on…Just not which jeans to put on…if you get what I mean) so coupled with the help of my most stylish of girlfriends, I ended up looking pretty damn dapper for such a fashion-o-phobe.

The only downside to the night was my getting a bit too drunk. I had a hangover the following morning that could have sank a ship. I was actually ready to postpone my flight and give myself over to a state hospital.  But less of that…and more of what happened on the night.

Actually I can’t remember much.

One thing that struck me was the high quality of the production.  It was pretty damn world class.
The opening from Jack Parrow and Ruffio Vegas was lame as all hell though.  But then again. I was there for the comics and not the musical interludes.  The quality of the projections was just next level and I really enjoyed a few of the sketches. Zombie Corne’ and Twakkie was hilarious….as was Chris Steenkamp and Robbie Collins.  I also really like the Thuli Madonsela sketch from the ZA News folks. Some of the others didn’t work as well, but there was on the whole a very good natured ribbing and high production level on all of it.

I am not someone who is proud of the fact that I cannot speak any of the African languages we have in this fair country. But then again I am not alone in this.  I had absolutely zero idea who the guy who won the Audience Choice vote was. But this was something that I was not alone in.
There was a guy there, who as yet I still don’t know his name. A white guy doing some hectic vernacular that must have been some of the most impressive language skills I have witnessed in some time.  But it went on.  And it went on….and on.

There is only so long a large portion of the audience can sit there and feel like they are either part of the joke or part of the problem.  Not being able to understand what was going on felt rather unpleasant.  But hey.

The awards themselves are made up of only a few categories.  Not exactly covering the industry as I think it could be.  Nothing is mentioned about club comedy. No awards for best corporate act. Nothing for mc’s. Nothing about One-man-shows etc.  I think (or rather hope) that there will be more awards added in years to come.

It was however thoroughly enjoyable and the after party at Parkers was pretty much the best time I have had with that many of the industry in one space.  If there is one thing that we can be proud of, is the scale and size of the comedy industry in South Africa at the moment.  Every year it gets bigger and bigger.  Im not saying bigger is always better. Sure there are some pretty self-indulgent and egotistical arseholes out there. But on the whole, the comedy industry is getting along just fine.  There seems to be less politics as it grows. Perhaps there isn’t the room any more for individual ego’s to carry as much weight as perhaps they used to.

The drinks were flowing, the folks were dancing, and comics were having fun.  There are always going to be a few folks moaning. But it won’t be me.

Well done to the acts that took the awards. There were no surprises. Everyone was deserving. Particularly proud of my guy Kagiso Mokgadi (Or KG as he is better known) for winning the Breakthrough Act award.  Baby Babyeeee  you deserve it.  There were many deserving winners, especially the guy who nobody knew who won the audience choice vote.  If you are prepared to put in the effort, buy a few hundred sim cards and get all your friends to vote…then you should win.

Fair and square buddy.  You deserved it.Whoever you are.

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The poster for my new show #SorryNotSorry

I suck at using photoshop.
I suck even more with deadlines.
Together. The combination of deadline and lack of talent has joined to bring you this wee beastie.

It’s the new poster for (well) my new show.  I went with #SorryNotSorry because it seems to fit the narrative of the story.

Also see the above paragraph about deadlines..

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