Stephen Pienaar, er Benni the fattie and that’s about it

I am pants.  I wouldnt be able to name more than four or five of the Springbok rugby players.  The cricket I could probably name 50% of the team.

But Bafana Bafana?  eish.  I can sing more words to N’kosi Sikelele than I can name players in Bafana Bafana.  I hope they get a chance to to make their names a bit bigger, and I get to remember some of them.

I heartily look forward to the World Cup. Especially if its fairly quiet.

The roads are nearly done.

The years of waiting in traffic and watching monuments to FIFA’s ego and perhaps our ignorance has been entralling and something special.

Then again, so was being in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.

But if the expected masses do not arrive.  At worst we are not exactly losing that much money.  We are well in debt for the event, but at the cost of an upgraded infrastructure as well as  a massive tourism boost for the long term, rather than over a single month.

I kind of have a bit of an issue with crowds at the best of times.  Since I got injured, I have had to be even more careful about not getting my leg knocked.  If the crowds that were predicted do not arrive in South Africa, well I will not be overly worried.  If greed was people’s motive.  Sorry for them.  If they are generally screwed because of bigger business like “Match” making a mess of the bookings.  I hope they get sued big time.

But if the hotels are quiet.  The airports not packed, The games just right.. I think it could be ideal.  Im not saying we are not ready to have a crack at an event like this.  But I will be most surprised to see how it is handled overall
Grahamstown festival is running over the world cup.  This will go one of two ways.  Really well or shit.  Time will tell.  I do hope it does well.  It has been extended to run over 15 days now.   Either way.  Its a bloody big month for South Africa.  I hope everyone is happy and enjoys this major event.  Lets not panic over the smaller facts.  Lets keep it crime free and pleasant.

A part of me does breathe easier with the prospect of not being completely over run with people.

The Story of Shakira naked with the Vuvuzela of shame.

Some people find Shakira hot.  To me she just looks sweaty.

Im not saying she is trashy.  But she does look she has had her fair share of “vuvuzela’s” up to her lips before.

I heard a vicious rumour the other day that she earned an extra 200k for exposing a breast whilst doing a traditional zulu dance for Sepp Blatter.  I think this is a terrible rumour.  What he did with the vuvuzela afterwards cannot be spoken of.  Its that bad.  Allegedly.

Telling lies is a terrible thing.

Cape Town is currently running stand up comedy nights all through the week.

Wow.  How times change.

A couple of months ago, there was basically nothing in Cape Town.  A cool enough gig in town on a Monday, and that was about it.

Now we are seeing a rising rush of comedy all over the greater cape.  This is good.  Very good.
Not because the comedy is per se, but due to the fact that it gives us the acts a chance to really lift our game.  Write new material and be performing it regularly enough to be able to actually tweak it.  Ive been out of action for months.  Frankly I wasn’t excited at all to return to the world of Cape Stand Up.  I was doing it I think to make some cash.  Never a good idea.

But this week has seen me doing five different comedy gigs.  Im feeling funny, Im writing new material, and Im getting a chance to show it to a range of audiences, and not just some goofed lighties in Long Street.  (although i do like the goofed lighties all the same)

I will post a list of the gigs currently running shortly.  But first, I need some sushi.


got your world cup tickets? what an effing palaverel

I finally got some world cup tickets today.

I’m going to be watching the ultimate battle of the supermarket owners. Yes that probably comes across as a touch racist..But I will be watching Greece tackle South Korea in Port Elizabeth on the 12th June.  I’m torn as to who I will give my allegiance too.  At the end of the day I think im going to support Greece.  Mostly because the Greek car industry is bloody awful and they do make pretty decent food.  Nothing nearly as good as the Italians or the Spanish.  But I don’t eat dog.  Sorry for you Korea.  Dogs and Hyundai will not cut it with me.

because all asians are a whizz at maths (yes I include the "s" here)

There were stories of people queuing over-night just to get near the front of the queue.  Only to be told that there are no tickets available anyway.  Now they have jumped up in price to R800 plus.  Sod that.  I will rather do something else for that kind of money.